If Only
I'm prone to the psychology of misjudgment (essential reading linked) and my most common trap is "if only". A few that have visited me in 2012...
If only...
I had a lighter bike
I lived in a smaller house
I had less...
I had more...
She joined our team
My kids would behave better
The world was more like me
I was a better, faster, leaner, more beautiful...
Whenever I catch myself obsessing on an "if only" point, a red flag goes up. The next step is to dig deeper and ask "then what."
If I had a lighter bike then... I'd climb faster.
If I climbed faster then... not sure (dead end)!
Most of my "if only" thoughts fizzle out after two, or three, steps.
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August 11th is the end of my athletic year so I've started my annual review precess.
Pulling out last year's review I am reminded of my Key Five (Train, Write, Marriage, Kids, Learn). I compare my Key Five against my "then what" replies, which often disappear at that stage.
At the start of this year, I was planning a sabbatical in 2013 (if only I could get away).
In looking deeply, I discovered that I was considering a path to leave my current life. When I compared that to my Key Five, I saw my true desire was a shift towards learning and writing. I've spent the last five months learning a new sport (mountain biking) and swapping writing for coaching. These changes avoided the major disruption of a change of hemisphere.
I should have known that the answer wasn't waiting in Australia!