The Trap Of Fixing
Some say hate is a sign that you're having an impact.
I'm not sure.
I think it's more accurate to say that hate is a reaction to what I'm sending out. It's an opportunity to pause, consider and learn.
When I'm focused on helping people, my ratio of positive to negative interactions is 500:1.
I find being told to change extremely painful. It's like I let the World down, which is a major trigger for me.
The best antidote that I've found for dealing with my own negative feelings is to pause, not react, and ask myself, I'll be happy when...
all dopers are caught
all frauds are punished
you change, rather than me
you. stop. that. right. now.
you close your sport, business, site, magazine because it bothers me
everyone, like me, has equal justice, from bigots like you
you break those friendships off
Are you sure that you'll be happy if they change?
I won't be happy when you change. I'll pat myself on the back and move on to the next target. It is a path that's guaranteed to make ME miserable and strengthen whomever is happens to be "wrong."
My reality is that I will either be happy now, or not at all.
I share this because the 500:1 ratio is a compelling case that we can have a much greater impact by helping, rather than correcting, each other.
The positive interactions are what make us happy.
Break the chain.