Raising Fast Kids
Something I tell my children…
There’s a difference between kid fast, and adult fast.
In 2023, our oldest reached the bottom level of “adult fast.” She qualified for USA Swimming’s Junior National Meet.
Now that we have a kid who is legit fast, I thought I’d update my thoughts on Raising Fit Kids.
Kid-Driven Process
Fast kids are not my goal. What I want is a lifelong enjoyment of sport, for them and you.
If you live with teens then you already know, "parent goals" have a limited bearing on outcome. If the teen years are still to come then perhaps this observation will help.
It is easy to bribe a kid into becoming “kid fast.” Once they’re a teen, it’s not going to happen.
The more talented kids will be able to coast and hide certain things from the adults in their lives.
What things?
Sometimes, it’s that they don’t practice well.
Other times, they’re great athletes but not motivated.
Too often, they’re exhausted, with no escape options => from parents hyper-focused on “success.”
Supporting Their Goals
We can drop them off but we can’t do the training.
Our oldest has five traits that serve her well.
Loves her sport.
Backs off when tired.1
Shows up.
Capacity to work very hard, occasionally.
Races better than training performance.
I’ve never watched her practice. I’d be an unnecessary distraction. The few times I’ve watched her do strength training, it’s been tough to keep my mouth shut. I suspect it’s like that for a lot of parents.2
Some framing that’s helped me stay out of the way.
2024/2028/2032/2036/2040 => 15/19/23/27/31 : those are olympic years and the age of our oldest. Subtract 4 years to get the age of our youngest. If they happen to go all the way, there is a lot of time between now and their true peak.
Thousands of days.
Many parents struggle to see the role of time in athletic development. Being blunt, half-assed training in high school isn’t going be the difference between ultimate success and failure. There will be 8 to 16 YEARS to improve training habits, but only if they enjoy their sport.
I welcome setbacks while the kids are still living with us. Why? Because we can help them process and learn that even “big things” don’t have much of an impact… if we PERSIST at something we LOVE.
There is tremendous energy wasted pushing kids to win at the current level.
Too often, the fast kids are rushed upwards. They need the chance to enjoy their current level.
All one needs to do is make the next level. Once there, we can start working on the next one, and the next.
There is always another level.
How might we help our kids get through the thousands of days required to see what’s possible?
Start by paying attention to their strengths...
Love
Back Off
Show Up
Capacity
Race Better
Support their strengths, keep it fun and provide a home environment committed to excellence. Aim for consistent training, punctuated by the occasional, exceptional game day. Model consistent persistence.
At the top of the “kid fast” level, it is surprising how many parents publicly talk down (their own) kids. It hurts to hear these comments.
Setbacks and plateaus are normal. Help your team stay in the game.
The Environment
In my next chapter you will get a chance to read about emotions driving our nutritional choices. Emotions also drive training adaptations. The biggest emotion facing most kids is a desire to quit when they are in high school.
How can we get them past this hurdle?
Make a conscious effort not to peak them in middle school.
Don’t specialize.
Limit training volume.
Limit competitive opportunities.
To enjoy the benefits of lifelong exercise, we need to keep kids in the game.
The transition from kid-fast to adult-fast is time intensive. It was the same for me as an elite athlete. The time requirements forced me to get creative:
Rode my bike everywhere.
Lived near my training venues.
Used combination workouts.
Simplified my life & nutrition.
Our kids were born into a house dedicated to health and fitness. They’re doubly lucky because my wife is really into the same sport as them. So the time commitments for travel meets, practice shuttles… are acceptable to her.
Without her mother… Ms 15 would not be as speedy as she is now. Why? Because I wouldn’t put the same effort into her sport.
Listening to my Olympian pals… NONE of them had an easy go of it on their journey to the top.
High-commitment parents can make the error of pulling future performance forward. Leading to early plateaus when the kids are emotionally immature.
The 50-Years-After
Ms 15 would love to move to California, be home schooled and train like a professional athlete. I get it. It’s how I lived my 30s. However, it’s not going to happen.
Here’s why.
I know hundreds of elite athletes. In all but one case3, they found themselves with 50 years to fill at the end of the their athletic careers.
Someone in the family needs to be keeping an eye on the future.
In order to train more… grades need to be up, behavior needs to be acceptable and household commitments need to be met. At times, there has been conflict in my marriage over these standards.
When she was 14, Ms 15 decided to test what would happen if she let her grades slip. It was noticed and she got back on top of things (after we calmly explained that travel meets were being removed).
There’s a widespread belief that athletes can get by with lower marks. “I’ve got my sport,” is something I hear often.
Someone needs to keep the family focused on the 50-years-after.
We use the app, HRV4Training, to track her readiness. She uses a system even more simple than mine. She takes a one-minute sample every morning. Even then, sampling consistency can lack. We’re working on it.
Earlier this year I “fired myself” and hired a remote strength coach.
The legendary Cameron Brown of New Zealand. Cam raced exceptionally into his 50s.